Journeys to my inner mind

When I set up this Blog, I got to the part where I had to name it and, as I'd just finished reading an article about people who preferred to be couch-potatoes, I decided to use something like it as the title. Although I knew in general terms what this meant, I looked it up, and it is basically: 


The term couch potato is characterized by sitting or remaining inactive, through choice, for most of the day with little or no exercise.


Unfortunately, I have very little choice as to the way I live my life at the moment, and, as everything hurts all the time, I decided I'm more an 'ouch' potato than a couch potato, so hence the name of my Blog <grin>


I'm not sure why I wanted to start this, although it's mainly in the hope that I can get my thoughts straightened out a bit - something I'm finding increasingly hard recently.
I have been classed as disabled, due to a plethora of problems I'm trying my best to cope with - most of them inherited from my parents, grandparents, great-grandparents . . .  well, I guess you get the idea . . .


I seem to be the lode-stone for everything wrong genetically in my family which, although a real bummer, is something  I'm glad the rest of my family have avoided, so they aren't going through what I have to, except my parents, unfortunately,who are struggling to cope with so many age-related problems at the moment :(


I was born in the last knockings of the Thalidomide problem, and was fortunate that the tablets had disagreed with my mum, who only took a few before she stopped, so I didn't have too many physical problems to cope with then, although my strongest memories of childhood are doctors appointments, hospital appointments, operations, and being generally a sickly child. I guess it was this that made me such a bookworm from an early age, and I always thank my mum for encouraging this in me, as it's always been such a life-saver to me :)
I now have Arthritis, Rheumatism, Fibromyalgia, Antiphospholipid syndrome, Primary Lymphodaema, IBS, and various other bits and bobs, including the start of a cold right at the moment, and so my body is constantly fighting itself, giving me little, if any, time when I'm not actually in pain.


I spend a lot of time, usually the wee hours of the morning, thinking about my life, and of all the decisions I've made. Despite some awful ones, I've never wanted to change things much - after all, if I did, I wouldn't be the 'me' that I am now (although I'd change the health thing in a flash!).


All this extra time I seem to have to think, isn't what I would choose to do with my life, but as I'm bed-bound for 22 hours out of 24, 6.5 days out of 7, there's not much more I can do - apart from sleep when I can, or sleep excessively on occasion; study, and read; and go and waste horrendous amounts of time on Facebook, of course. Lol


If I'm really lucky, I manage about 3 hours sleep in the 24, although I do get days where I almost sleep the clock around, but then I wake up feeling as if I hadn't slept at all! 
In a strange way, it's amazing how much I've actually got used to living on so little sleep for most of the time - although I must admit it's affecting how much I can study of the part-time Children's Lit course I'm doing at the moment, which is a pain, as I've started a 2,000 word essay that needs to be in by the 13th of this month, and which I'm probably going to have to get an extension for :(


By the way, I'm forty-something, am married to the loveliest man in the world, and have a daughter I'm so terribly proud of!


Anyhoo, I guess I'll be using this Blog to write down anything that comes into my head, be it poetry, stories, something I've overheard or chatted about - but, generally, it's to talk to myself with - and at least it saves having people look at me strangely! :~))